Starting at 9 wks I already had the pit in my stomach about returning to work. Intermittent teary episodes and overwhelming feeling of helplessness about the dreaded day to come when I can't be there for Vera as I had been her entire life so far. From 9 wks on I didn't want to be without Vera for anything...I practically took her to the bathroom with me. Forget date night! I couldn't bare the thought of being away from her until I was forced to. ...basically I turned into "crazy mom" mode. Sure I wanted some adult interaction, but my preference was to have my little snickelfritz along. It was the forced letting go that got me the most. I wasn't and still aren't ready to let go...hence the crazy mom mode. :) I had planned to spend some time away from her but as it got closer to the dreaded day, I just couldn't part with her. Some moms suggested a "practice run" of dropping her off. Are you stupid? Why would I want to torture myself twice? Oh, no thanks.
I wanted Aleta (daycare mom) to know everything about all of V's quirks so Vera didn't have to cry until it was figured out. I even went so far as to put together a sheet of paper of what V likes and more importantly, doesn't like.
I didn't want to miss anything. Makes me sick to think that Aleta will get to spend more time with Vera than me. Horse shit. That is totally not fair. It's a good thing Jamie and I really like her and trust that she will treat V like one of her own kids/grandkids. That's one of the only things that made the transition back a little easier to swallow.
Besides being sick about dropping off Vera with a stranger, I was starting to get anxiety about my workload when I returned. Being short a PA-C, I half volunteered and was half forced to take on a surgeon's clinic (who notoriously gets out late) every other day besides my own clinic. It wasn't the being busy part (which is a good thing to keep my mind off missing V), but the fact that I would be getting out late. And before I actually returned to work, I geared up to be assertive and essentially demand that I get out at a reasonable time. Fortunately, I knew I had the support from my bosses (at least verbally).
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
what to say...9 wks old
Shots. Boo! Developmentally Vera is 4 months old...yikes! Thought I would be sad or teary with V getting shots but I was actually OK...it was Dad awwwwwing with his misty eyes. Oh boy, he hasn't seen anything yet.
STATS...
Visitors!!! Laura and Cathy/Phil. :)
Oh my sleepy, growing baby girl...growing out of all her newborn clothes. Ahhh!! Momma is not ready for this growing up business.
Did you know!?!?!?!? Taking a bottle is NOT like riding a bike- once she takes a bottle, doesn't mean 5 days later she will take it again...IDIOTS! Honestly- I want to buy a shirt that says "Rookies" for Jamie and I. "Brainless" would work too.
And the dread of heading back to work begins.
STATS...
Visitors!!! Laura and Cathy/Phil. :)
Oh my sleepy, growing baby girl...growing out of all her newborn clothes. Ahhh!! Momma is not ready for this growing up business.
Did you know!?!?!?!? Taking a bottle is NOT like riding a bike- once she takes a bottle, doesn't mean 5 days later she will take it again...IDIOTS! Honestly- I want to buy a shirt that says "Rookies" for Jamie and I. "Brainless" would work too.
And the dread of heading back to work begins.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
SALVATION!
THANK GOODNESS!! VERA FOUND HER THUMB!! The sirens screamed and angels sang. This, my friends, is a beautiful thing. She is VERY serious about the thumb-sucking too. And Jamie and I have to say it's the cutest thing we've ever seen. Thumb in mouth with those big ol' peepers looking onward. LOVE.IT. :):)
As soon as she found her thumb, we all got a little more sleep at night. Everyone was jealous when I told them at 8 weeks V started sleeping through the night. She was sleeping 6.5-7 hours at a time and it was PURE BLISS! :)
It was this time when Jam and I busted out a new bottle, First Years (Breastflow) and she TOOK IT!!! Woo hooooooo!!!
We spent New Years' Eve with Dad, Cin, Brad, and Kenny at Dad/Cin's place. I will admit we were pretty lame. At 8pm we were all like "ugh!!!! we'll never make it!!" ...so most of us took a nap to ensure we had the energy to maintain the midnight tradition. I will be the first to say running around the house this year was THE WORST YEAR TO DATE! The snow had melted and got super hard. We started running on the gravel which was the BEST part, if you can believe that. Then we ran onto the hard ice. It was like someone hit a slow-mo button...I could barely move as I cursed. I was trying to step on top of the ice, but shockingly that didn't work so my ankles and feet were getting all cut up. It hurt so bad (and for days actually). I'm not sure if it was terrible because of the ice or the fact that I was carrying out this family tradition completely sober for the first time...needless to say a bad combination.
As soon as she found her thumb, we all got a little more sleep at night. Everyone was jealous when I told them at 8 weeks V started sleeping through the night. She was sleeping 6.5-7 hours at a time and it was PURE BLISS! :)
It was this time when Jam and I busted out a new bottle, First Years (Breastflow) and she TOOK IT!!! Woo hooooooo!!!
We spent New Years' Eve with Dad, Cin, Brad, and Kenny at Dad/Cin's place. I will admit we were pretty lame. At 8pm we were all like "ugh!!!! we'll never make it!!" ...so most of us took a nap to ensure we had the energy to maintain the midnight tradition. I will be the first to say running around the house this year was THE WORST YEAR TO DATE! The snow had melted and got super hard. We started running on the gravel which was the BEST part, if you can believe that. Then we ran onto the hard ice. It was like someone hit a slow-mo button...I could barely move as I cursed. I was trying to step on top of the ice, but shockingly that didn't work so my ankles and feet were getting all cut up. It hurt so bad (and for days actually). I'm not sure if it was terrible because of the ice or the fact that I was carrying out this family tradition completely sober for the first time...needless to say a bad combination.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Xmas 2010 (7 wks)
Had both the Kapplinger and Otterness/Flatin Xmas this week. It was a bit busy but everything went great.
Because Jenny was on bed rest we decided to bring Xmas to Sioux Falls. Unfortunately there was a horrible snowstorm (of course). We quickly threw our stuff together and decided to leave in the evening...knowing we were going to hit snow no matter when we left...but also knowing Vera was much more likely to travel better in the evening. Boy were we spot on. We headed out around 8:30pm and what should have taken 3.5 hrs took us 6 hrs. We had to stop only once so Vera could eat but otherwise she slept the whole way- what a gem!!! :):) The roads were awful...there were no plows out so we were driving through at least 4 inches of snow. There were no lanes on the highway; just people driving in the middle of the road. Jam was a trooper driving 40 mph the whole way there. Ugh. We got there around 3-3:30am...and had no trouble until we got to their alley...where Jam got the car stuck- haha. :) It was a really nice holiday with the whole crew at the Clementson's.
Mom's xmas was at Otter and Sarah's like usual but this year we had undesirable intruders...random Tripp cousins came out of no where to WATCH our xmas. It was SO weird and we were not fans. They ate our food and watched us open presents like we were on display...creepers. Mom was so mad. Anywho...we still love getting together as a fam. :) This year the sing-a-magigs were a hit. :) We did the whole present-opening over skype with K&D and fam which was really fun...not quite like they were here, but better than nothing. Wish they were home.
Because Jenny was on bed rest we decided to bring Xmas to Sioux Falls. Unfortunately there was a horrible snowstorm (of course). We quickly threw our stuff together and decided to leave in the evening...knowing we were going to hit snow no matter when we left...but also knowing Vera was much more likely to travel better in the evening. Boy were we spot on. We headed out around 8:30pm and what should have taken 3.5 hrs took us 6 hrs. We had to stop only once so Vera could eat but otherwise she slept the whole way- what a gem!!! :):) The roads were awful...there were no plows out so we were driving through at least 4 inches of snow. There were no lanes on the highway; just people driving in the middle of the road. Jam was a trooper driving 40 mph the whole way there. Ugh. We got there around 3-3:30am...and had no trouble until we got to their alley...where Jam got the car stuck- haha. :) It was a really nice holiday with the whole crew at the Clementson's.
Mom's xmas was at Otter and Sarah's like usual but this year we had undesirable intruders...random Tripp cousins came out of no where to WATCH our xmas. It was SO weird and we were not fans. They ate our food and watched us open presents like we were on display...creepers. Mom was so mad. Anywho...we still love getting together as a fam. :) This year the sing-a-magigs were a hit. :) We did the whole present-opening over skype with K&D and fam which was really fun...not quite like they were here, but better than nothing. Wish they were home.
leave half over (6 wks)
I can't believe my maternity leave is half over already. :( Time has gone by so fast. Every day Jam and I look at her and think she's changed so much.
- Tried the pack n play this week...no problems. Vera is her mother's child- and the super-power of the ability to sleep anywhere has been passed on. YES!
- We just love it when she smiles and chuckles while she's sleeping...wonder what she's dreaming about.
- V loves to hold on to us when she's upright and LOVES to snuggle. :)
- ROUND 2 bottle battle: Playtex vs Vera...Playtex 0, Vera 1.
- Vera is still so gasey...I think it's reflux.
- We popped in to work and passed Vera around...everyone just thought she was so cute in her AC/DC onesie. Jam was such a proud papa, wanting to show her off to his class and the lab.
- Had my 6 wk check up with the midwives and checked out ok. 8lbs left before I'm back to my pre-baby weight. Got the ok to exercise and have sex...yah...haha. Started the pill again. I'll leave the sex story out...it's a bit personal, but wtf is with the bleeding/period crap after that...for one week...ugh!
- V scoped out her first basketball game and LOVED it! She loved all the noise and watched intently as the boys ran up and down the court. :):)
- Jamie gave baby girl a bath for the first time. He was so nervous and wanted me to tell him every single step. :) But he did a good job and Vera got clean. :)
- Tried the pack n play this week...no problems. Vera is her mother's child- and the super-power of the ability to sleep anywhere has been passed on. YES!
- We just love it when she smiles and chuckles while she's sleeping...wonder what she's dreaming about.
- V loves to hold on to us when she's upright and LOVES to snuggle. :)
- ROUND 2 bottle battle: Playtex vs Vera...Playtex 0, Vera 1.
- Vera is still so gasey...I think it's reflux.
- We popped in to work and passed Vera around...everyone just thought she was so cute in her AC/DC onesie. Jam was such a proud papa, wanting to show her off to his class and the lab.
- Had my 6 wk check up with the midwives and checked out ok. 8lbs left before I'm back to my pre-baby weight. Got the ok to exercise and have sex...yah...haha. Started the pill again. I'll leave the sex story out...it's a bit personal, but wtf is with the bleeding/period crap after that...for one week...ugh!
- V scoped out her first basketball game and LOVED it! She loved all the noise and watched intently as the boys ran up and down the court. :):)
- Jamie gave baby girl a bath for the first time. He was so nervous and wanted me to tell him every single step. :) But he did a good job and Vera got clean. :)
Friday, February 25, 2011
spandex to spanx
Just wondering why I couldn't have my pre-baby body back? My wardrobe, and thereby my self-esteem, is garbage. Maybe when I lost weight pre-baby, I shouldn't have changed out my entire wardrobe for a closet full of spandex. Seriously, I think all I owned was tight, little clothes (which was wonderful when I was in the best shape I'd been in 10 yrs).
I realize this is not a novel or shocking statement but my body is just not the same, post-baby. My boobs go from deflated tube socks to engorged volleyballs...I think my thighs grew and I'm not sure WHY they would need to...I've got this little belly flap of skin that makes every piece of spandex clothing I have NOT work. Every day I have to evaluate- do I go over the flap, divide the flap, or go under the flap? And with my shirts...can't be too tight cause then I am either battling the bulge or the annoying breast pad outline through my giant, expensive (yet uncomfortable) maternity bra. But I'm not really interested in sporting tents or garbage bags either since I've lost most of the baby weight. Dilemma, dilemma. Sure wish I didn't have to dress up every day.
I realize this is not a novel or shocking statement but my body is just not the same, post-baby. My boobs go from deflated tube socks to engorged volleyballs...I think my thighs grew and I'm not sure WHY they would need to...I've got this little belly flap of skin that makes every piece of spandex clothing I have NOT work. Every day I have to evaluate- do I go over the flap, divide the flap, or go under the flap? And with my shirts...can't be too tight cause then I am either battling the bulge or the annoying breast pad outline through my giant, expensive (yet uncomfortable) maternity bra. But I'm not really interested in sporting tents or garbage bags either since I've lost most of the baby weight. Dilemma, dilemma. Sure wish I didn't have to dress up every day.
thank God for television
Baby V and I did a whole lot of snuggling while on maternity leave, and what was momma doing during all of this, besides lovin up the cutest baby in the whole world and taking naps...watching TV. Sadly, Vera joined this world just in time for the start of winter, thus making outside excursions non-existent. So, we were cooped up inside.
Shows of choice? Really more like stations of choice: Bravo, TLC, CMT, Vh1
Garbage TV = my favorite. I think I saw almost every episode of the "Real Housewives of...Orange County and Beverly Hills, " Millionaire Matchmaker, Tabitha's Salon Takeover, Top Chef (all on Bravo). On TLC I watched, What not to wear and Cake boss. In the mornings we watched music videos on Vh1 and CMT. I would even watch the same episodes several times...haha.
Anything about baking/cooking AND fashion...MY FAVS :) Wouldn't want to stress or overwork my brain...no problem. :)
Shows of choice? Really more like stations of choice: Bravo, TLC, CMT, Vh1
Garbage TV = my favorite. I think I saw almost every episode of the "Real Housewives of...Orange County and Beverly Hills, " Millionaire Matchmaker, Tabitha's Salon Takeover, Top Chef (all on Bravo). On TLC I watched, What not to wear and Cake boss. In the mornings we watched music videos on Vh1 and CMT. I would even watch the same episodes several times...haha.
Anything about baking/cooking AND fashion...MY FAVS :) Wouldn't want to stress or overwork my brain...no problem. :)
Mooooooooo
Pumping sucks. There's not much more to say than that. Obviously it has to be done since I don't want to stop breastfeeding...but I could do without it.
At home it's no big deal. In fact, after Vera started sleeping through the night, I would pump 11 ounces off ONE BOOB in the morning! Craziness.
At work, it really sucks. Since I am never engorged, I forget I need to pump so I sometimes go 6 hours without...which thereby decreases my milk supply.
I guess I'm not excited to take half hour "breaks" to sit in a cold room half naked hooked up to a milk machine that makes my nipples reach a freakishly long size while holding the suction cups up to my boobs so I don't even get to relax to enjoy my "break," (but I DO get to listen to a very soothing pumping noise...which makes me want to throw it against the wall) and scalding my fingers while attempting to clean my equipment with the boiling water spicket. And...I GET to do this twice a day...lucky me. I just let my surgeon know I need to go, "moo" for half hour and I'll find him when I get back. Their reactions (since they're all male) to that kind of comment is amusing every time. :)
Seriously though, I can't even imagine what it would be like to have a crappy pump. I donated my right kidney for my Medela pump so I don't know any difference, but I've seen cheaper ones, or manual ones...huh? Is that even possible? I suppose it is since I've seen farmers do that to cows...how AWFUL! I already think it's worse than child labor at stealing modesty...I can't imagine what someone feels like to hand pump...yikes. And it would take FOREVER! I am the most inpatient person when it comes to pumping...why can't I just open the flood gates and the milk produced just pour out? Why? I even pump quickly...when I'm full, about an ounce a minute.
Moral of story: pumping sucks. ...but I guess it's for a good cause. :)
Duration estimated? I would like to make it a year if possible to avoid having to use formula at all, and I really enjoy breastfeeding- it's so easy, cheap, and convenient!
At home it's no big deal. In fact, after Vera started sleeping through the night, I would pump 11 ounces off ONE BOOB in the morning! Craziness.
At work, it really sucks. Since I am never engorged, I forget I need to pump so I sometimes go 6 hours without...which thereby decreases my milk supply.
I guess I'm not excited to take half hour "breaks" to sit in a cold room half naked hooked up to a milk machine that makes my nipples reach a freakishly long size while holding the suction cups up to my boobs so I don't even get to relax to enjoy my "break," (but I DO get to listen to a very soothing pumping noise...which makes me want to throw it against the wall) and scalding my fingers while attempting to clean my equipment with the boiling water spicket. And...I GET to do this twice a day...lucky me. I just let my surgeon know I need to go, "moo" for half hour and I'll find him when I get back. Their reactions (since they're all male) to that kind of comment is amusing every time. :)
Seriously though, I can't even imagine what it would be like to have a crappy pump. I donated my right kidney for my Medela pump so I don't know any difference, but I've seen cheaper ones, or manual ones...huh? Is that even possible? I suppose it is since I've seen farmers do that to cows...how AWFUL! I already think it's worse than child labor at stealing modesty...I can't imagine what someone feels like to hand pump...yikes. And it would take FOREVER! I am the most inpatient person when it comes to pumping...why can't I just open the flood gates and the milk produced just pour out? Why? I even pump quickly...when I'm full, about an ounce a minute.
Moral of story: pumping sucks. ...but I guess it's for a good cause. :)
Duration estimated? I would like to make it a year if possible to avoid having to use formula at all, and I really enjoy breastfeeding- it's so easy, cheap, and convenient!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
BOTTLE BATTLE
Vera vs bottles...a big battle.
I can't say I was surprised she didn't want the bottle since she HATED pacifiers. I had bought some Dr. Brown bottles (10 bottles for like $10) off craigslist and quickly these were SHOT DOWN! Vera 1. Bottles 0.
I decided to give Playtex natural-type nipples with drop-ins a try. Those nipples seem a little less plasticy. SHOT DOWN! Vera 2. Bottles 0.
Jam and I really struggled with what to do...he hates to hear her cry but I needed him to put in a good effort with her, not giving in to the freak outs right away. I tried to give one to her but that was DEFINITELY NOT HAPPENING...she knew momma has the goods. It got a little better with Jam, but Dad's intuition was right...these weren't going to work either, though there was a little progress with length of time before losing it. We also concluded we needed a bottle warmer since the breast milk cannot be microwaved...good move. :)
Back to Target in search for a winner...and a winner we found. A bottle with a shorter nipple...First Years...and at 8 weeks, Vera finally caved and took the bottle. YAH!!!!!
So, the brand new (aka ignorant idiots) parents we were figured taking the bottle was like riding a bike...NOT SO MUCH. So when we went to give her the bottle again...a week and a half later...the battle was back on. This was tough on me since Jam was so busy with school, and it was getting close to me having to go back to work, and I still had not spent any time away from Vera. We decided it was going to have to be me "training" her to take the bottle since Jam would only be able to try once a day and in the evening when she's already tempermental. Jam had read some things to try online so Mom and Vera had it out. Let the training begin.
My mom came over to try, as I retained the thought Vera wouldn't take a bottle from mom, and after 25 minutes of screaming/crying, we caved and I breastfed her. Trial 2 (later that day), I had it out with Vera for 45 minutes as I gave myself a pep talk- "you can do it! you can do it! hang in there! I will prevail!!" But, I just felt so terrible for her, having done this to her earlier in the day...mom caved. For the next couple days I tried different things and we had a couple more long sessions of crying (mostly just Vera...haha) but eventually she took it.
FINAL RESULTS: First Years bottle, sitting upright and facing out on my lap in a place where she doesn't normally breastfeed like the kitchen chairs or a different place on the couch or walking around while feeding. Stubborn shit.
Hope this excursion and stubborness is not a sign of things to come. :/
I can't say I was surprised she didn't want the bottle since she HATED pacifiers. I had bought some Dr. Brown bottles (10 bottles for like $10) off craigslist and quickly these were SHOT DOWN! Vera 1. Bottles 0.
I decided to give Playtex natural-type nipples with drop-ins a try. Those nipples seem a little less plasticy. SHOT DOWN! Vera 2. Bottles 0.
Jam and I really struggled with what to do...he hates to hear her cry but I needed him to put in a good effort with her, not giving in to the freak outs right away. I tried to give one to her but that was DEFINITELY NOT HAPPENING...she knew momma has the goods. It got a little better with Jam, but Dad's intuition was right...these weren't going to work either, though there was a little progress with length of time before losing it. We also concluded we needed a bottle warmer since the breast milk cannot be microwaved...good move. :)
Back to Target in search for a winner...and a winner we found. A bottle with a shorter nipple...First Years...and at 8 weeks, Vera finally caved and took the bottle. YAH!!!!!
So, the brand new (aka ignorant idiots) parents we were figured taking the bottle was like riding a bike...NOT SO MUCH. So when we went to give her the bottle again...a week and a half later...the battle was back on. This was tough on me since Jam was so busy with school, and it was getting close to me having to go back to work, and I still had not spent any time away from Vera. We decided it was going to have to be me "training" her to take the bottle since Jam would only be able to try once a day and in the evening when she's already tempermental. Jam had read some things to try online so Mom and Vera had it out. Let the training begin.
My mom came over to try, as I retained the thought Vera wouldn't take a bottle from mom, and after 25 minutes of screaming/crying, we caved and I breastfed her. Trial 2 (later that day), I had it out with Vera for 45 minutes as I gave myself a pep talk- "you can do it! you can do it! hang in there! I will prevail!!" But, I just felt so terrible for her, having done this to her earlier in the day...mom caved. For the next couple days I tried different things and we had a couple more long sessions of crying (mostly just Vera...haha) but eventually she took it.
FINAL RESULTS: First Years bottle, sitting upright and facing out on my lap in a place where she doesn't normally breastfeed like the kitchen chairs or a different place on the couch or walking around while feeding. Stubborn shit.
Hope this excursion and stubborness is not a sign of things to come. :/
Now who's the scrooge! (5 wks)
- For the first time in a LONG time I was not a scrooge this year...too bad my counterpart (for the first time in a long time) was... I really wanted to bust out the Xmas decorations and get a real tree and do it up for Vera's first Xmas, but I wanted to do it as a family- decorating together and baking Xmas cookies. We only got about 1/2 decorated...but, it's not like she knows the difference...oh well.
- we got a WICKED blizzard this week...thankful to be inside snuggling with my little one. :)
- I have been constantly thinking about and worried about creating bad habits... I try to remind myself she's only 5 wks...it's a bit early to be worried about it. But really, when is the time when I start making habits???? Someone tell me when that magical time is so I know when I need to make changes...
- well, we TRIED a bottle = NIGHTMARE. Tried and failed. Stay tuned.
- she can ALMOST find her thumb...almost.
- Jam and I bee-bopped down to SG so Vera could meet Great Grandma Otterness and as a bonus got to meet Great Aunt Diane too! V was possessed by gas demons during most of our visit, but Gma was not phased as she snuggled and patted V's back. Love that old persistence and patience. :)
- Jenny had a HUGE scare with the twins (at 19 wks) and ended up in the hospital needing a cervical cerclage since she started dilating/effacing. They were able to stop labor and eventually sent her home on strict foot up, laid back bed rest.
- we got a WICKED blizzard this week...thankful to be inside snuggling with my little one. :)
- I have been constantly thinking about and worried about creating bad habits... I try to remind myself she's only 5 wks...it's a bit early to be worried about it. But really, when is the time when I start making habits???? Someone tell me when that magical time is so I know when I need to make changes...
- well, we TRIED a bottle = NIGHTMARE. Tried and failed. Stay tuned.
- she can ALMOST find her thumb...almost.
- Jam and I bee-bopped down to SG so Vera could meet Great Grandma Otterness and as a bonus got to meet Great Aunt Diane too! V was possessed by gas demons during most of our visit, but Gma was not phased as she snuggled and patted V's back. Love that old persistence and patience. :)
- Jenny had a HUGE scare with the twins (at 19 wks) and ended up in the hospital needing a cervical cerclage since she started dilating/effacing. They were able to stop labor and eventually sent her home on strict foot up, laid back bed rest.
Aunties from the east coast visit!! (4 wks)
Vera is now starting to coo and get smiley...we just LOVE it...some personality beaming through. :) Just THE cutest thing ever.
Ariane and Steph came to visit us again!!! They came Thurs-Mon. It was beyond amazing to see the girls. I can say, without a doubt, that having visitors for 5 days shortly after having a baby, is too long. They were not even remotely high maintenance but I was so tired and not really wanting to share my little thang that much. I LOVE those 2 ladies- and they spoil Vera rotten- getting her MORE amazing gifts (some of our favorite outfits- the leopard onesie, skirt with built in tights, Tap Out PJs, and PUMA outfit, among others) and never putting her down for a second- she got LOADS of snuggles which she just ATE UP. :) What was so nice was that they watched Vera while Jam and I had some quality time together...painting the basement. :) Just love them. :)
Ariane and Steph came to visit us again!!! They came Thurs-Mon. It was beyond amazing to see the girls. I can say, without a doubt, that having visitors for 5 days shortly after having a baby, is too long. They were not even remotely high maintenance but I was so tired and not really wanting to share my little thang that much. I LOVE those 2 ladies- and they spoil Vera rotten- getting her MORE amazing gifts (some of our favorite outfits- the leopard onesie, skirt with built in tights, Tap Out PJs, and PUMA outfit, among others) and never putting her down for a second- she got LOADS of snuggles which she just ATE UP. :) What was so nice was that they watched Vera while Jam and I had some quality time together...painting the basement. :) Just love them. :)
V perfects her role as Jesus (3 wks)
This amazingly wonderful little munchkin of mine is growing so fast...which is a phrase I think I will say every day of her life.
A bullet list kinda week:
- holy Moses she cries LOUD!
- BOOB RESTRICTIONS: only every 2 hours missy...unless you're freakin out
- Mommy and Daddy love that you love to snuggle & sleep belly to belly
- Jam and V have developed a pretty cute little relationship...he dotes on her so much and is afraid to do anything unsupervised...but the love eminating from him when he looks at her along with the tears in his eyes is just the most beautiful thing.
- schedule? uh, no...would be nice though. Makes it hard to get out, but why the hell would we want to do that? :)
- Kat & Clare, and Jess make the trek down to visit- LOVE company. Clare is so darling and such a great baby...a couple months older than Vera...excited to see our little girls grow up together
- I started pumping...and there will be an entire post on this- stay tuned.
- she's growing out of her newborn clothes- what?! STOP IT!
- V and I have been sleeping in the recliner lots, though she does also sleep in the bassinette...thinkin she's about ready for that crib
- her little faces/squeaks/grunts are the most precious things- LOVE THEM! :)
- our little Kapplinger trio made our acting debut and will be accepting Oscars at this year's ceremony. Vera was a star as Baby Jesus...and what an actress she was! Just amazing. Jam and I rocked out Mary and Joseph at Grandma Betty's church of yesteryear's Christmas program. V slept through the whole service thank goodness. I was just imaging her screaming during Silent Night...haha. But Vera was fantastic. One question: what kind of acting role do you take after perfecting Jesus? :)
A bullet list kinda week:
- holy Moses she cries LOUD!
- BOOB RESTRICTIONS: only every 2 hours missy...unless you're freakin out
- Mommy and Daddy love that you love to snuggle & sleep belly to belly
- Jam and V have developed a pretty cute little relationship...he dotes on her so much and is afraid to do anything unsupervised...but the love eminating from him when he looks at her along with the tears in his eyes is just the most beautiful thing.
- schedule? uh, no...would be nice though. Makes it hard to get out, but why the hell would we want to do that? :)
- Kat & Clare, and Jess make the trek down to visit- LOVE company. Clare is so darling and such a great baby...a couple months older than Vera...excited to see our little girls grow up together
- I started pumping...and there will be an entire post on this- stay tuned.
- she's growing out of her newborn clothes- what?! STOP IT!
- V and I have been sleeping in the recliner lots, though she does also sleep in the bassinette...thinkin she's about ready for that crib
- her little faces/squeaks/grunts are the most precious things- LOVE THEM! :)
- our little Kapplinger trio made our acting debut and will be accepting Oscars at this year's ceremony. Vera was a star as Baby Jesus...and what an actress she was! Just amazing. Jam and I rocked out Mary and Joseph at Grandma Betty's church of yesteryear's Christmas program. V slept through the whole service thank goodness. I was just imaging her screaming during Silent Night...haha. But Vera was fantastic. One question: what kind of acting role do you take after perfecting Jesus? :)
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Trips with baby V
Her first long car ride was on day 5. Destination: Frost, MN to meet great Gma and Gpa Oswald before they headed to Arizona for the winter. She slept the whole way both there and back thank goodness. :) The whole Oswald clan was there which was super nice...so Miss V got to meet the whole crew. :) Great gpa too commented on how perfect she is...it was so sweet to see the sparkle in their eyes getting to meet her (they hadn't seen any of their great grandkids as tiny babies since they were all born while they were in AZ).
Somewhere in between 5 days and 3 weeks (haha...didn't write down when we headed out)...around 2 weeks we headed to Target for the first time. I was CRAZY nervous CONSTANTLY thinking/worrying about what if this, what if that. I definitely have never moved through Target that fast before. All that worrying and V slept through the whole trip. :) My second trip in though...a different story- quickly after getting in the doors I found myself with a very loudly crying baby and the piercing stares. So we headed to the bathroom so I could breastfeed her while sitting on the toilet. Wasn't so bad but it IS hard to shop while holding a baby and pushing a cart. It's hard to shop with a kid/baby period, is what I've concluded. :)
At 4 weeks, Miss V made her debut at the Mall of America. I just find it so hard to shop with her...I feel so much pressure to get my ass moving- NO BROWSING MOM!!! GET GOING!!! And I can't really be at the MOA without slowly moving about the racks of amazingness. :) It went ok, thanks to Steph and Ariane who I had just picked up from the airport. I didn't think I needed the stroller but I did have the carrier. Again, I continue to learn the hard way...so you have your baby in the carrier, and you're carrying the diaper bag and all your purchases and things you are wanting to buy...not bright. What did we learn? Neither Vera, nor I (at this juncture in time) have the stamina for the MOA. :) And always bring the stroller- even if it's just to carry all my garbage. :)
At 7 wks...we made the 3.5 hour trek to Sioux Falls for Xmas...or at least that's what it would have been if there wasn't a horrible snowstorm thus nearly doubling the amount of time it normally takes. 6 hours later we arrived at our destination. Vera was such a champ!!! Since we left around 8pm V was in sleep-mode so we only needed to stop once for her to eat...otherwise she slept the whole time- thank goodness!!! On the way home, however (which took 5.5 hrs), we left during the day so we had to stop 3 times for her to eat. Lesson learned? Traveling long distances = leaving at night. :)
Somewhere in between 5 days and 3 weeks (haha...didn't write down when we headed out)...around 2 weeks we headed to Target for the first time. I was CRAZY nervous CONSTANTLY thinking/worrying about what if this, what if that. I definitely have never moved through Target that fast before. All that worrying and V slept through the whole trip. :) My second trip in though...a different story- quickly after getting in the doors I found myself with a very loudly crying baby and the piercing stares. So we headed to the bathroom so I could breastfeed her while sitting on the toilet. Wasn't so bad but it IS hard to shop while holding a baby and pushing a cart. It's hard to shop with a kid/baby period, is what I've concluded. :)
At 4 weeks, Miss V made her debut at the Mall of America. I just find it so hard to shop with her...I feel so much pressure to get my ass moving- NO BROWSING MOM!!! GET GOING!!! And I can't really be at the MOA without slowly moving about the racks of amazingness. :) It went ok, thanks to Steph and Ariane who I had just picked up from the airport. I didn't think I needed the stroller but I did have the carrier. Again, I continue to learn the hard way...so you have your baby in the carrier, and you're carrying the diaper bag and all your purchases and things you are wanting to buy...not bright. What did we learn? Neither Vera, nor I (at this juncture in time) have the stamina for the MOA. :) And always bring the stroller- even if it's just to carry all my garbage. :)
At 7 wks...we made the 3.5 hour trek to Sioux Falls for Xmas...or at least that's what it would have been if there wasn't a horrible snowstorm thus nearly doubling the amount of time it normally takes. 6 hours later we arrived at our destination. Vera was such a champ!!! Since we left around 8pm V was in sleep-mode so we only needed to stop once for her to eat...otherwise she slept the whole time- thank goodness!!! On the way home, however (which took 5.5 hrs), we left during the day so we had to stop 3 times for her to eat. Lesson learned? Traveling long distances = leaving at night. :)
Getting comfortable
These first couple weeks I've been getting to know Vera and her me. The only thing to really learn about me is that she has me wrapped around her finger. :)
Vera has turned out to be a pretty gasey, spit-upy baby. Jam and I have no idea what we're doing, but we're learning. A great resource- the million other moms out there with loads of experience. :) Sarah informed me Hailey needed Little Tummy's after every feeding because she was so gasey. We tried that with Miss V...which led to immediate relief for the time being and the next day she basically heaved up her food the whole day...not exactly a desired side effect, thus the meds are saved for a last resort. We found out she really likes to be warm so we tried warming up the nanna and putting it in her bassinette before we put her in there...though we didn't really keep that up.
I love love her fuzz (lanugo)...it's so cute! ....all over her back and ears. :) I also love the way she smells. I find myself constantly rubbing my cheeks on her head (which is probably why her hair fell out so fast)...haha.
We do find she does rarely take a pacifier when forced and the moons are aligned...haha...aka when she is in the car and I'm sitting next to her not allowing her to spit it out. :)
Vera has turned out to be a pretty gasey, spit-upy baby. Jam and I have no idea what we're doing, but we're learning. A great resource- the million other moms out there with loads of experience. :) Sarah informed me Hailey needed Little Tummy's after every feeding because she was so gasey. We tried that with Miss V...which led to immediate relief for the time being and the next day she basically heaved up her food the whole day...not exactly a desired side effect, thus the meds are saved for a last resort. We found out she really likes to be warm so we tried warming up the nanna and putting it in her bassinette before we put her in there...though we didn't really keep that up.
I love love her fuzz (lanugo)...it's so cute! ....all over her back and ears. :) I also love the way she smells. I find myself constantly rubbing my cheeks on her head (which is probably why her hair fell out so fast)...haha.
We do find she does rarely take a pacifier when forced and the moons are aligned...haha...aka when she is in the car and I'm sitting next to her not allowing her to spit it out. :)
Miss Vera
Vera Vera. Where to start. We just love this girl so much...there aren't even words. I've never ever known love like this. She is so perfect and Jamie and I say it out loud at least 20 times a day. There seems to be a bit of external validation of this as well. ;)
She is very alert with her BIG peepers checking everything out- she doesn't miss a thing! She has loads of expressive faces which keep me entertained 24/7. I just love it. Jamie's favorite is her frown face...it's pretty funny. I can't even pick- I love them all- they all make me smile. :) She is EXTRAORDINARILY snuggly- loves loves to be held all the time...in fact, she cannot fall asleep unless being held. Boy does she have a set of lungs on her- VERY noisy cries. We tried to swaddle her initially but she HATED it...she would kick, kick, kick until her arms were out cause she loves to have her arms up by her head/face. She will not take a pacifier- just gags and cries harder when we try (and we've tried them all). She seems to have a fascination with her fingers/fist cause she's always trying to get them in her mouth...think she'll be a thumb sucker. What Vera loves the most- the boob. She would have it ALL THE TIME (and initially I let her) if she could- particularly when she's hungry, tired, bored, had the hiccups or gas. I'm starting to learn her cries since they seem to mean different things- a quick high pitched cry for gas, lower cry if she wanted to be picked up, intermittent crying for sleepiness. I didn't really ever let her get so hungry she cried. Sometimes, especially when she's hungry- gets really frantic- flailing her arms/hands around her face/mouth/head and breathing really fast. Kinda silly. :) She HATES to be held lying down...only upright...but she would let you know it (by squirming/crying very loudly until I figured it out).
Vera is GORGEOUS! As of right now we think she has my nose, cheeks/face shape, and ears and Jamie's chin, eyes, smile, brow, and body type with her big hands/feet and skinny legs. She didn't have any milia or cradle cap. P.E.R.F.E.C.T. :)
I am in constant awe of her. It really is so amazing to think we created this little person. ...then I pat us on the back for doing such a damn good job...haha. :) I love snuggling with her. And the first song I heard that made me cry, Carrie Underwood's "mama's song." The whole world has changed and how I view it is so different, I already am not sure how I saw things pre-Vera. I LOVE holding her and snuggling, especially when she's sleeping on my chest (her favorite way to sleep). Her smile, even though it's just a reflex at this time, absolutely melts me. Jamie is constantly smiling and staring at her with the sweetest look as he whispers, "she is so perfect," and "she is so beautiful." It's really the cutest thing I've ever seen.
She is very alert with her BIG peepers checking everything out- she doesn't miss a thing! She has loads of expressive faces which keep me entertained 24/7. I just love it. Jamie's favorite is her frown face...it's pretty funny. I can't even pick- I love them all- they all make me smile. :) She is EXTRAORDINARILY snuggly- loves loves to be held all the time...in fact, she cannot fall asleep unless being held. Boy does she have a set of lungs on her- VERY noisy cries. We tried to swaddle her initially but she HATED it...she would kick, kick, kick until her arms were out cause she loves to have her arms up by her head/face. She will not take a pacifier- just gags and cries harder when we try (and we've tried them all). She seems to have a fascination with her fingers/fist cause she's always trying to get them in her mouth...think she'll be a thumb sucker. What Vera loves the most- the boob. She would have it ALL THE TIME (and initially I let her) if she could- particularly when she's hungry, tired, bored, had the hiccups or gas. I'm starting to learn her cries since they seem to mean different things- a quick high pitched cry for gas, lower cry if she wanted to be picked up, intermittent crying for sleepiness. I didn't really ever let her get so hungry she cried. Sometimes, especially when she's hungry- gets really frantic- flailing her arms/hands around her face/mouth/head and breathing really fast. Kinda silly. :) She HATES to be held lying down...only upright...but she would let you know it (by squirming/crying very loudly until I figured it out).
Vera is GORGEOUS! As of right now we think she has my nose, cheeks/face shape, and ears and Jamie's chin, eyes, smile, brow, and body type with her big hands/feet and skinny legs. She didn't have any milia or cradle cap. P.E.R.F.E.C.T. :)
I am in constant awe of her. It really is so amazing to think we created this little person. ...then I pat us on the back for doing such a damn good job...haha. :) I love snuggling with her. And the first song I heard that made me cry, Carrie Underwood's "mama's song." The whole world has changed and how I view it is so different, I already am not sure how I saw things pre-Vera. I LOVE holding her and snuggling, especially when she's sleeping on my chest (her favorite way to sleep). Her smile, even though it's just a reflex at this time, absolutely melts me. Jamie is constantly smiling and staring at her with the sweetest look as he whispers, "she is so perfect," and "she is so beautiful." It's really the cutest thing I've ever seen.
Home...now what?
Night 1 was the most confusing night of my life to date...one would have thought we were trying to solve the Rubix cube or something. Seriously... It got to be night and we were like, now what? What are we going to do? Where is she going to sleep? Where am I going to sleep? Am I going to feed her in bed or get up or what? Oh wait, there's no night light in the nursery (and no light bulb in the lamp in the nursery). Honestly! We had nothing set up or ready and how strange was it that we hadn't even gone through this very moment in our heads prior to bringing her home. Yikes! Talk about unprepared (...though I'm sure it could have been worse).
Initial arrangements: Vera slept in the infant-to-toddler rocker or on a positioner in the bassinette from Nolie next to the bed. Every 2 hours (though I never let her get to the point of crying) when she was squirmy I would get up, take her to the nursery, and feed her in the chair and bring her back in to put her down in the bassinette. Every squeak and squirm and odd noise, I would get up and look at her to see what was going on and quickly wipe away any spit up. I think it worked out alright and I don't think I would have done anything different looking back.
After arriving home, particularly since I was alone with Vera for the next couple weeks, and VERY sleep deprived, and had NO CLUE what I was doing- my craaaazy emotions took over. I've been told these crazy feelings are normal but I'm not sure how...my emotions were ALL OVER THE PLACE. One second I was elated and the very next I was crying for no reason. Jamie had mentioned several times prior to delivery how I would want someone with me after she's born and was all like, yah, yah, whatever Jam... In retrospect, I do wish I had had someone but of course at the time I was too proud or some stupid shit like that. Jamie was back and school and I was basically a single mom for 2 weeks (until Jam had a break for Thanksgiving). It was a little rough, I'm not gonna lie. Most of it was sheer extreme sleep deprivation (since I'm like a wet towel when I don't get my 8 hours...haha). Occassionally I felt like a pit in my stomach and anxiety about taking care of this little person completely dependant on me. Sometimes I was sad though I'm not really sure why...probably that Jamie wasn't there experiencing all these things with me. There were tears because I was so so so happy too. Jam was a little worried since the tears kept on rolling for a couple days (so worried he even talked to his mom about it). Then, like a light switch I was fine...guess that's what they call the postpartum blues.
I now understand when people say they didn't have time to eat. Our little Miss V is kind of a needy gal but mostly cause she LOVES LOVES LOVES to snuggle...loves it so much she cries when she's not being snuggled. ha. :) I don't mind though cause I LOVE LOVE LOVE to snuggle too. :) Not only that but when home with her, and snuggling, I don't really feel like getting up and taking the time to make some garbage lunch. I hated fixing lunch pre-Vera! Basically cereal remains the greatest food group EVER!!! :)
Initial arrangements: Vera slept in the infant-to-toddler rocker or on a positioner in the bassinette from Nolie next to the bed. Every 2 hours (though I never let her get to the point of crying) when she was squirmy I would get up, take her to the nursery, and feed her in the chair and bring her back in to put her down in the bassinette. Every squeak and squirm and odd noise, I would get up and look at her to see what was going on and quickly wipe away any spit up. I think it worked out alright and I don't think I would have done anything different looking back.
After arriving home, particularly since I was alone with Vera for the next couple weeks, and VERY sleep deprived, and had NO CLUE what I was doing- my craaaazy emotions took over. I've been told these crazy feelings are normal but I'm not sure how...my emotions were ALL OVER THE PLACE. One second I was elated and the very next I was crying for no reason. Jamie had mentioned several times prior to delivery how I would want someone with me after she's born and was all like, yah, yah, whatever Jam... In retrospect, I do wish I had had someone but of course at the time I was too proud or some stupid shit like that. Jamie was back and school and I was basically a single mom for 2 weeks (until Jam had a break for Thanksgiving). It was a little rough, I'm not gonna lie. Most of it was sheer extreme sleep deprivation (since I'm like a wet towel when I don't get my 8 hours...haha). Occassionally I felt like a pit in my stomach and anxiety about taking care of this little person completely dependant on me. Sometimes I was sad though I'm not really sure why...probably that Jamie wasn't there experiencing all these things with me. There were tears because I was so so so happy too. Jam was a little worried since the tears kept on rolling for a couple days (so worried he even talked to his mom about it). Then, like a light switch I was fine...guess that's what they call the postpartum blues.
I now understand when people say they didn't have time to eat. Our little Miss V is kind of a needy gal but mostly cause she LOVES LOVES LOVES to snuggle...loves it so much she cries when she's not being snuggled. ha. :) I don't mind though cause I LOVE LOVE LOVE to snuggle too. :) Not only that but when home with her, and snuggling, I don't really feel like getting up and taking the time to make some garbage lunch. I hated fixing lunch pre-Vera! Basically cereal remains the greatest food group EVER!!! :)
in as 2, out as 3 (a complete family)
After delivery, we were in the hospital a couple days. Annoyingly cause I delivered in the wee hours of the morning, I technically had to stay 2 more nights. I really didn't want to since things were going so well- no problems with pain or breastfeeding...but we stayed until Thurs.
Jam missed 1.5 days of anatomy (head and neck...the hardest section) to be with us in the hospital.
While in the hospital, I was on cloud 9. Everything was perfect and I had a smile painted on my face the entire time. ON TOP OF THE WORLD!!!!!!
Vera didn't have any problem latching on to breastfeed but was cluster feeding (aka feeding for like 1.5 hours at a time with me alternating boobs every 20 minutes or so). My nipples were sore (but lanolin cream helped). She never really latched on very deep but I guess it works for us.
Sleep deprivation to the ultimate degree was in full force. We did send Vera out to the nursery both nights which I felt guilty about. The only thing that made it ok was knowing she would be back in a very short time to eat (for a very long time). I was thankful for the small amount of rest I was able to get.
We had quite a few visitors during our hospital stay:
Day 1: Sarah, Mom, Cindy, the Hoffmans, Nettie & Dylan, Jill (but because Ida was sick, Jill didn't get to hold her), Mitch/Becky and the kids, and a patient
- in retrospect it was probably too many visitors cause I didn't get to rest at all during the day (and only had about 3 hours of sleep since V was born)...but I was too happy to even notice how tired I was...like the adrenaline just kept me go go going.
Day 2: Sarah, Jill, Dad, Otter and Hailey
Day 3: Sarah and Lisa
It did suck Jamie had to go back to class while we were still in the hospital but having had anatomy in the past, I completely understood why.
Leaving day was interesting as I packed up all of our crap (thank goodness Vera slept during that part). Jam showed up in time to pick us up. We had never even played with the carseat, nor had either of us really have any experience with it...it was like a friggin science project getting her in there and buckled...difficult mostly cause she was so small. Seemed crazy we were taking her home but I was still oober excited. Jam strolled up in the car and we were off! After bringing us home, Jam sadly had to return basically immediately to get back to class which sucked. So it was just Miss V and I the rest of the day.
Jam missed 1.5 days of anatomy (head and neck...the hardest section) to be with us in the hospital.
While in the hospital, I was on cloud 9. Everything was perfect and I had a smile painted on my face the entire time. ON TOP OF THE WORLD!!!!!!
Vera didn't have any problem latching on to breastfeed but was cluster feeding (aka feeding for like 1.5 hours at a time with me alternating boobs every 20 minutes or so). My nipples were sore (but lanolin cream helped). She never really latched on very deep but I guess it works for us.
Sleep deprivation to the ultimate degree was in full force. We did send Vera out to the nursery both nights which I felt guilty about. The only thing that made it ok was knowing she would be back in a very short time to eat (for a very long time). I was thankful for the small amount of rest I was able to get.
We had quite a few visitors during our hospital stay:
Day 1: Sarah, Mom, Cindy, the Hoffmans, Nettie & Dylan, Jill (but because Ida was sick, Jill didn't get to hold her), Mitch/Becky and the kids, and a patient
- in retrospect it was probably too many visitors cause I didn't get to rest at all during the day (and only had about 3 hours of sleep since V was born)...but I was too happy to even notice how tired I was...like the adrenaline just kept me go go going.
Day 2: Sarah, Jill, Dad, Otter and Hailey
Day 3: Sarah and Lisa
It did suck Jamie had to go back to class while we were still in the hospital but having had anatomy in the past, I completely understood why.
Leaving day was interesting as I packed up all of our crap (thank goodness Vera slept during that part). Jam showed up in time to pick us up. We had never even played with the carseat, nor had either of us really have any experience with it...it was like a friggin science project getting her in there and buckled...difficult mostly cause she was so small. Seemed crazy we were taking her home but I was still oober excited. Jam strolled up in the car and we were off! After bringing us home, Jam sadly had to return basically immediately to get back to class which sucked. So it was just Miss V and I the rest of the day.
Post-pregnancy stats
Well, I am so happy and blessed...my Grandma Otterness passed down a body meant for having babies. Grandma O. told me a story of when she delivered Gary, she left the hospital in her regular clothes- a tight brown polka-dotted dress. :)
Postpartum day 1: 74.7 kg (week 1 = 150 lbs) and body basically back to normal. I was back in to my pre-pregnancy clothes though I will say I am in no way shape or form toned. Pure jiggle jello madness. Pre-pregnancy I was in pretty good shape...and obviously post-pregnancy I am not. My belly is not the same, with a nice dark line all the way down it (that doesn't appear it will be leaving anytime soon) and a little stretched out.
Boobs: oh holy Jesus...(see a later post for details on this ridiculousness) 34 H, and hangs out around my belly button...oi oi oi.
Managed to avoid stretch marks and tattoo distortion. +1 hemorrhoid. Belly piercing was maintained and the regular ring is back in.
There is some serious "rebuilding" for this body...but not at this juncture in time...maybe later. :) ...cause no one expects me to look good and I don't need to be in a swimsuit for 6 months or more. :)
Postpartum day 1: 74.7 kg (week 1 = 150 lbs) and body basically back to normal. I was back in to my pre-pregnancy clothes though I will say I am in no way shape or form toned. Pure jiggle jello madness. Pre-pregnancy I was in pretty good shape...and obviously post-pregnancy I am not. My belly is not the same, with a nice dark line all the way down it (that doesn't appear it will be leaving anytime soon) and a little stretched out.
Boobs: oh holy Jesus...(see a later post for details on this ridiculousness) 34 H, and hangs out around my belly button...oi oi oi.
Managed to avoid stretch marks and tattoo distortion. +1 hemorrhoid. Belly piercing was maintained and the regular ring is back in.
There is some serious "rebuilding" for this body...but not at this juncture in time...maybe later. :) ...cause no one expects me to look good and I don't need to be in a swimsuit for 6 months or more. :)
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